Everybody tell lies

It is easier to tell a lie to cover us from mistakes made, but it is extremely difficult to be honest as we always expect the counterpart to get angry, annoyed, once they hear the truth. It hurts me more to hear a lie and find out later. It causes me pain to hear the truth but once i hear it I can start to accept it.

Once, someone asked me to lose weight. I am not fat, but I am not skinny either. And one thing I really love is good food.

Well, this person wanted me to look like one of those skinny models in magazines. he also wanted me to change my hair colour and style ( I actually liked the idea of image changed). But the idea of someone changing me to finally look like someone I am not, pissed me off till dead. When this person explained that he didn't really feel any sexual attraction, I was so angry that I though: why are you with me then? I wanted to say fuck off! Instead I ran away to one of the bedrooms to cry. the worst thing wasn't that, the worst thing was when in an intend to make me feel better, he told me the greatest lie i've ever heard: "I wanted you to lose weight so you can fit in your wedding dress".

Lots of contradictions appeared according the relationship was going, and then day after day I felt sad, lonely, and was losing all interest in a lot of things I loved.

It is so easy to hurt people, and so difficult to realise what has been done. Too late to work it out. The damage is done. Every day I feel more and more angry about all stupid lies I've heard before. Thy are bricks I have been carrying for a long time, and I am trying to drop them. I don't knwo how to do it. But I'd love to.