Love has gone. Maybe what I should realise is that of all the loves I have had, none of them was actually real. If none of them has been real, then I have never been loved at all.
So as I have not been trully loved, I don't believe. I wished I met someone who made me realise I am wrong, but there is no such person to challenge me on this. I wanted to find my love but I give up, one thing is true afection and another one infatuation, that is what people actually feel.
So, till someone challenges me on this topic, I'll carry on with my believe: People don't fall in love at all!
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About my love life
| Your Birthdate: November 8 |
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2 comments:
Hi. I’m not here to challenge but to share. This may sound ironic but I had a similar incident. A few weeks back, I hurt someone so bad (I call her Angel or ‘Elle Dee’). I used to feel something for her until she migrated to another country. I felt partly responsible for her migration. Recently she expressed thru her blog saying that I made her felt suffocated as I frequently visited her blog. All I ever wanted was to know if she’s ok. I didn’t mean to ‘stalk’ her at all. So I had to let her go. It hurts me initially but somehow I felt liberated after that. I guess love was never there at all from the beginning.
Then last week I went out with someone from the past -‘Woman’. She got in touch with me early this yr after she ‘disappeared’ many yrs ago. She's married now but occasionally need a few hrs away from her family. We normally go out for coffee or dinner. We were not trying to revive the past but become good friends again. I promised her that there’ll be no romance between us at all. Anyway, last weekend we took a drive for a ‘getaway’ in a city. We had a great time throughout the journey, lots of fun & laughter. Somehow, just an hour before we arrived back home late evening the next day, I made a stupid mistake. I suddenly cried silently while listening to a song that reminds me so much of Angel. ‘Woman’ misunderstood me and thought that I was feeling for her instead. She got angry and refused to talk to me for the rest of the journey. When I dropped her off, she refused to listen to what I had to say. Until now, she wouldn’t even answer my call or reply my sms. I miss her so much and I want her back so bad !!!
Anyway, I realized that I’ve been wrong about Angel. She wasn't the one for me. When she left, l tried with someone else (Baby) but it didn’t work either as she doesn’t care about me. She’s done with me once she got what she wanted. When ‘Woman’ came back this year, I started to think if she could be the right one for me instead. I was wrong again as she wanted nothing more than just being good friends which I gladly agree. Somehow, I felt easier being her friend than being someone whom I wanted to be all these while.
What happened recently made me realized that I’ve never fall in love before. I misunderstood the perception of love. Perhaps it was purely friendly kind of love or affection that I felt all these years. I’ve to admit that I don’t know what true love is but I do wish to feel it someday if given a chance. As for now, I really wish to be friends again with ‘Woman’ coz I don’t have to pretend to be anyone but myself around her.
Hello there;
Funny isn't it? you are the other side of the situation with some people, but the only one thing I can say about your 'Woman' is that if she is a true friend, she will be back. True friendship is the only that can survive after all kind of mistakes, incidents, etc. I teel this after I have re-encounter old friends, people who even I thought were never true and I am glad I was wrong about them, as they also admitted they were wrong too, so there is space for forgiveness.
Carl tinks the worst things about me, he has wrong ideas about himself too. He lies to himself so what can I do? he is going away today and I hope he finds what he is after, so when he does, he will understand why he was wrong. If he is strong, we will even try to mend all his mistakes if he needs to. He will move on and I will too. But I still wish to find the right one, and I am determined to find that person or let that person find me once I am fine.
I am happier because I can be on my own and not feel sorrow or pain. I have no more pain. I have let go all the past, and the past has come back to make sure I am ok with it. I have even found friends from school, lost friends, facebook is a miracle.
I have seen photos from childhood and recalled things that make me so happy now, that I have all the energy to carry on and achieve more. I can now live my life and even if I don't find the loved one I long for, I will be happy anyway as I have loved a lot.
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